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For too long, African-American girls and their sexual wants have been ignored. Over the many years, media-glorified research have claimed to break new ground in regard to sexuality, but they seldom addressed the needs and considerations of African-American girls. In reality, research that addressed Black ladies often targeted on transmission of disease.

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Ebony magazine readers needed to know more. What turns us on, what turns us off? Where can we go when we now have issues or questions? What are our main issues and issues?

In response to the thousands of reader queries the magazine continued to get, Ebony undertook a major study to answer some of these questions. The survey outcomes had been published in October 2004. The journal wanted to hear about the issues that affect the quality of black girls's lives and relationships. Ebony has commissioned Hope Ashby, Ph.D., a psychotherapist primarily based in New York Metropolis, to help design a groundbreaking new sex survey that delved into the hearts and sex lives of Black women. And there are solutions that can lead to a healthier, extra fulfilling intercourse life. Ultimately, they hoped to shed some mild on private concerns and let black women know that they are not alone; other women have the same problems that you do.

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Here, Dr. Ashby, offers some insight into Black women and sexuality.

Query: What are the sexuality problems affecting Black ladies?

Dr. Ashby: A serious sexuality downside dealing with Black girls in the present day is HIV/AIDS. There is a lot of misinformation or simply nonexistent information about anorgasmia, low libido, painful sex and even easy things such as the effect of hormones on sexual functioning. Another is the lack of information out there in our communities.

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Query: Are there sexuality issues that have an effect on Black girls extra so than different ladies?

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Dr. Ashby: A continual complaint about their companions not desirous to wear condoms. Black ladies additionally deliver up the shortcoming to have an orgasm and low or misplaced libido as White ladies do.

Query: Are there elements of sexuality that Black ladies seem to enjoy an advantage?

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Dr. Ashby: I think that the one advantage that Black ladies have is excessive physique esteem. We are usually extra comfy in our bodies, especially Black women who are plus-size. Having a high physique esteem helps to reinforce one's sexual emotions about herself.

Query: When a Black girl has an issue with sex, where does she go for help and advice?

Dr. Ashby: Black girls tend to go to their pals; it's rare that they go to their medical doctors with sex issues because they are unaware that there is help on the market for a lot of these issues. Some medical doctors are beginning to listen to their patients' sexuality complaints and find out about the area of sexual drugs. There are professionals, like myself, who concentrate on sexually associated issues and can help.

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Query: For individuals who aren't snug talking to their companions, what recommendation do you could have?

Dr. Ashby: Initially, don't select to start out having these conversations when you are about to have sex. Are there fantasies he would like to discover? It's important to start these conversations in a impartial, non-threatening place, particularly if you haven't been having orgasms and you have been faking. Start by asking your partner what he thinks about your intercourse life. That is the incorrect time.

Question: How do historical past and tradition have an effect on our sexuality?

Dr. Ashby: All through White historical past, Black girls have been portrayed in two paradigms--that of Jezebel and that of "mammy." Jezebel being the slut, promiscuous woman and "mammy" being utterly asexual however all the time passive and caretaking. This traumatic history is still an unconscious remnant in the lives of Black ladies. One other facet of Black history that's tied to those paradigms is that as slaves Black girls were commonly raped and sodomized by their masters, and also offered off from their households. This message can be pervasive in American culture. Little women are taught that sex is to be saved for marriage with out ever hearing any point out of enjoyment. Because Black women have usually been checked out by these two lenses, it has been troublesome for us to find center ground. It gets conveyed in a subtle method that pleasure is reserved on your accomplice and that you are the conveyer of that pleasure. How can you be a snug sexual being if you might be perceived as a slut? Thus Black ladies are often caught between being a "good girl" (nonsexual), or a "unhealthy girl" (sexual).

Question: Why do some Black ladies feel unhealthy or "dirty" about initiating sex with their mate?

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Dr. Ashby: It is a matter of feeling they don't seem to be entitled to pleasure and not recognizing themselves as sexual beings with needs of their very own. This also goes back to how gifts are socialized in American society. Boys, then again, are socialized to assume that they can have intercourse with anybody at any time and that it's their proper to do so. Some women are socialized to assume that sex is soiled and that solely bad issues can come of it in the event you interact in sex.

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Question: Primarily based on your research, how do Black women really feel about oral intercourse and anal sex?

Dr. Ashby: Black girls are extra comfy at the moment than they have been a number of years ago in giving and receiving oral sex. Anal intercourse continues to be relatively taboo for Black ladies. I normally hear about male partners having issues giving oral sex.

Question: What can mothers do to ensure their daughters are informed about intercourse?

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Dr. Ashby: It's imperative that mothers sit down with their daughters and speak about sex and sexuality. Adolescence is a time for experimentation; adolescents query their intercourse appeal, whether or not they're gay, straight, or bisexual, whether oral sex is "intercourse," and methods to go about it. Although the knowledge is on the market, kids nonetheless want and seek steering from the ones they belief most--their dad and mom. Being open and trustworthy along with your teen is key to impacting their habits.

Question: Are Black ladies immediately more snug in accepting their lesbianism?

Dr. Ashby: From many conversations with my patients, evidently Black ladies are rather more comfy than they were just a few years ago about accepting their lesbianism, but it is still a wrestle. My patients state that the African-American group nonetheless has issue accepting and dealing with the gay and lesbian subpopulation. This comes with a bunch of challenges that White lesbians don't need to face. Black lesbians are confronted with a triple handicap--being Black, female and a lesbian.

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Question: Many girls are involved about whether sexual want decreases throughout menopause. Does it?

Dr. Ashby: The wonderful thing about being human is that we are all completely different and some are fortunate not to have a decrease in sexual actions. I have seen some ladies who are barely affected by the modifications brought on by menopause and others whose lives are utterly devastated by the hormonal imbalance.

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Question: Why is HIV affecting Black girls disproportionately?

Dr. Ashby: Because many are partaking in sexual activity without condoms. In case your man won't wear a condom, there are methods you may protect your self. Thirdly, abstinence is always an choice until you discover that somebody who will respect you and your body. First, there's a female condom out there; secondly, there are nonoxynol-9 spermicides that can be inserted into the vagina previous to intercourse. Many women I see as patients say that their man won't put on a condom because it "feels" higher; or if she insists that he wears one, he accuses her of cheating. The final word form of caring and respect is when someone locations your feelings and wishes above their own.

Question: How do Black ladies approach masturbation and intercourse toys? Are there feelings of guilt?

Dr. Ashby: Masturbation continues to be somewhat taboo for Black girls as it's seen as "dirty." My patients have mentioned they're embarrassed to hunt down intercourse toys and feel that buying them would make them seem "loose." Intercourse therapists have had their patients use intercourse toys either with a associate or alone as a way to determine what turns them on and what turns them off.

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Query: If there is one message about sexuality that you just wish to deliver to African-American girls across the country, what would that be?

Dr. Ashby: I believe the message I wish to deliver to both African-American and African Sisters is that you're much more than illness carriers and baby-makers. You might be sexual beings with wants and wishes, and you might be entitled to wholesome, fulfilling sexual lives, and that there is help on your sexual issues. Everyone is entitled to a fulfilling intercourse life.

We do it however we don't prefer to speak about it. Sex, that is.

African-American women could also be stereotyped as Lil' Kims in music movies, but for essentially the most half, black women may be extraordinarily prudish in relation to discussing intercourse.

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That's why the outcomes of a landmark intercourse survey of black women appearing within the October 2004 subject of Ebony magazine certain raised just a few eyebrows.

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For starters, in keeping with the survey of 8,000 ladies nationwide and abroad, brothers apparently aren't taking care of their business. When requested "How happy are you with your sex life?" 26.Eight p.c of respondents said they were "considerably happy," 13.6 p.c said they had been "considerably dissatisfied," and solely 15.7 percent of the women mentioned they have been utterly satisfied.

Much more telling, whereas "cheating" is usually seen as a primarily male conduct, the Ebony intercourse survey discovered that 44.2 percent of the women mentioned that they had cheated on their companions, while 41.4 % stated they'd not strayed.

The 56-question survey asked concerning the sort of intercourse that most black women won't even focus on with their greatest friends, like what is your most popular place for intercourse and method of penetration. That black women are inclined to shrink back from overtly discussing their sexuality is understandable.

Black girls had been objectified and sexually abused throughout slavery and the Jim Crow period. In real life, black teenage girls are being sexually assaulted by older males, including male family, at an alarming charge. Right this moment, young black women are demeaned as sexual objects in rap lyrics and videos.

Ebony's survey found that 41.9 p.c of black ladies agreed with the assertion: "The stereotypical media portrayal of black women (as free, unrestrained, bossy) has had a detrimental influence on our sexual improvement." And about 37 percent of respondents said they had a history of sexual abuse.

But the "prepared-at-the-drop-of-a-hat" black lady is essentially a myth.

Based on the Ebony survey, although 59.7 % of black girls mentioned "masturbation is wholesome and regular," 25.Three percent of those women said they never masturbate. When requested: "How typically do you expertise orgasm?" 22 p.c said "very often," 25.2 % mentioned "typically," 26.Four p.c stated "typically," and 18.Four percent said "every so often."

"This was a difficulty that we wanted to deal with," mentioned Lynn Norment, Ebony's managing editor. "I've finished dozens of relationship tales over the years and i saw the need. There's been sex surveys about women generally, but black girls had been nearly a footnote in these surveys. I assumed it was time for us to deal with black ladies and the problems that we face in our lives."

The survey was performed on-line. Clearly, an internet survey gave respondents a number of privacy. But some respondents mailed their responses to Ebony. Still, there are indications that respondents were uncomfortable answering some questions.

For instance, consider the subject of oral sex.

Only 2.7 percent of women surveyed admitted giving oral sex, while 11.6 percent said they were recipients of oral sex, and a whopping 82.1 percent claimed both parties engaged in oral sex. But when asked: "How often do you expertise oral intercourse?", 16.9 p.c said fairly often; 29 p.c stated "usually;" 21.9 p.c stated seldom; and 24.Four p.c of the respondents mentioned "generally."

I am unable to prove this, but 2.7 % seems an awful small number for givers. What that tiny number says to me is oral sex is still so taboo in the black community, most black ladies still will not admit to giving oral intercourse with out getting it too.

Most of the respondents live in the South (37.9 percent), are school graduates (52.7 p.c) and have by no means been married (50.2 p.c).

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"I'm a minister's daughter," mentioned Hope Ashby, the new York City- based intercourse therapist who helped Ebony formulate the intercourse survey. "My mom is a Southern belle, and we did not focus on this stuff. That is why this is quite great. Black ladies deal with the identical points as white girls. We are not having as much sex as we'd need, and when we are having intercourse, we're not being sexually happy," she stated.

Given the "down low" phenomenon -- that's, black men who have sex with ladies however don't determine themselves as gay or disclose to their female partners that they also have intercourse with males -- I used to be shocked Ebony didn't ask outright about condom use.

Forty-eight percent of respondents stated they have been very involved about "brothers on the down low," 16.5 % mentioned they were "somewhat involved," and 27.Three % said they were not involved.

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"What we didn't want to do was alienate individuals from answering the questions," Ashby stated. "Being in your face about it makes folks go the other approach and not wish to speak about it."

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Hopefully, Ebony's intercourse survey will bounce-start the true dialog.

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1. How glad are you with your intercourse life?

Utterly glad 15.77%

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Mostly happy 25.Forty two

Somewhat satisfied 26.Eighty five

Considerably dissatisfied 13.62

Mostly dissatisfied 9.09

Utterly dissatisfied 9.25

2. How usually do you have interaction in sexual intercourse?

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Day by day 6.36

Once every week or extra 41.64

As soon as a month 11.69

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Two or three times a month 23.31

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Once or twice a yr 9.05

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Not at all 7.Ninety five

3. How often would you prefer to have intercourse?

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Each day 32.01

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As soon as per week or more 58.04

As soon as a month 1.Seventy nine

Two or three times a month 6.22

As soon as or twice a yr 0.44

Lower than as soon as a 12 months 0.18

Not in any respect 1.32

4. How usually do you experience orgasm?

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Very often 22.07

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Usually 25.23

Sometimes 26.43

Occasionally 18.41

Never 7.86

5. Have you ever cheated in your partner?

Yes 44.23

No 41.47

Thought of it, however did not 14.29

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The survey included 8,000 black ladies, most of whom answered questions online. Some mailed responses to Ebony. The survey was conducted between March 8 and April 30, 2004.

APA Reference
Employees, H. (2021, December 17). Are You Satisfied? Ebony Asks Black Girls, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, March 27 from https://www.healthyplace.com/intercourse/ladies/are-you-happy-ebony-asks-black-women

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